This is about as off-topic as it gets.

I’m a Yank going to England for a business meeting Sunday afternoon. I went to the bank and got some English pounds. Now I have notes that say 5 L , 10 L, etc. It seems easy enough. But when I think of Enghish money, I think of “quid” and “pence”. Just what are these? What else do I need to know?

I’m sure there’s a more academic way to learn this, but several of you English chaps read this. I thought it might be better to ask somebody who actually knows.

And they say we speak the same language!

“quid” is just slang for “pound”. “20 quid” is £20. “pence” is just the plural of penny. 100p to the £. Just be glad you didn’t go before 1971. Previously, with the misplaced British love of precision, they had 12 pence to the shilling and 20 shillings to the pound. There were even half penny coins. :shock: 

The English definitely don’t speak the same language we do.  This link might help. Good luck and have fun.

[quote author=“Anonymous”]In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and
thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth
II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and
territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Is this probably a good time to point out that here in the US, we call Blair the “British Poodle” for following us into Iraq, wagging his tail allthe way.

[quote author=“Anonymous”]Then look up aluminium, and check the
pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been
pronouncing it.

Funny, Webster’s spells it “aluminum”. What’s funnier is that was Davy’s *first* name for the metal.

[quote author=“Anonymous”]The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as “favour” and “neighbour.”
Likewise, you will learn to spell “doughnut’” without skipping half the
letters, and the suffix “ize” will be replaced by the suffix “ise”.

Ah, now we get to that misplaced love of precision I was talking about. English is the most chaotically and haphazardly spelled language in the world. Even Gaelic and French have fewer unpronounced letters. We actually improve the spelling of the language and you are completely unappreciative of it. No wonder you still have a queen.

[quote author=“Anonymous”]Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable
levels. (look up vocabulary). Using the same twenty-seven words
interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and
inefficient form of communication.

Tell you what, we’ll stop saying “like” when you stop saying “bloody”.

[quote author=“Anonymous”]There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your
behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of
the reinststed rules.

Well, we were just trying to be nice. You were getting irate at the computer constantly fixing your overspellings.

[quote author=“Anonymous”]Guns should only be handled by adults.

Are you trying to say that you are policed by people who you know can’t properly handle firearms? :shock:

[quote author=“Anonymous”]The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
improperly calling gasoline) at roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.

We have a Bush in office. We’re working on it.

[quote author=“Anonymous”]You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are
not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are
properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and
dressed not with catsup but with malt vinegar.

I refuse to be lectured on food (or oral hygene) by an Englishman.

[quote author=“Anonymous”]The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer
at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer,
and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as
Lager. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine, so
that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

At least you can still get Sam Adams and Yingling in the US relatively easily. In England, even your own government thinks beer shouldn’t be warm.

[quote author=“Anonymous”]You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper
football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be
allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football,
but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full
kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies.

Watching a full half hour of Joe Theisman’s leg incident over and over again (as most football fans have done) should cure you of that opinion.

[quote author=“Anonymous”]You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

Don’t you guys have MI6 for this sort of thing?

[quote author=“Anonymous”]An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s
Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due
(backdated to 1776).

When you guys get to Texas and Utah, can I watch? Please?

Drachen: nice one! LMAO!

Very interesting point about the English language and all the unpronounced letters. Especially looking at the word “doughnut”, it really makes sense…

[quote author=“Anonymous”]Wow,,, what a reply!

It only took me about 10 seconds to copy & Paste!

You really like to spend time to analyze cynical humour don’t you !

Well, he wasn’t spending all his time searching random forums just hoping to pick a fight…

[quote author=“Drachen”]“quid” is just slang for “pound”. “20 quid” is £20. “pence” is just the plural of penny. 100p to the £. Just be glad you didn’t go before 1971. Previously, with the misplaced British love of precision, they had 12 pence to the shilling and 20 shillings to the pound. There were even half penny coins. :shock: 

The English definitely don’t speak the same language we do.  This link might help. Good luck and have fun.

We had sovereigns and tuppeny and quids and shillings and bobs (i.e. dodgy as a two bob watch - translates as not very well built).

Thank God I was born after all these insane coins were over, but old people still say things like “Oh it’s only a couple of bob”, which destroys the teenagers let me tell you.

If ever you wanted proof that the english language is a little confusing…

A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.

[quote author=“Anonymous”]And you have a problem with that?

Ahhh   ,,,, Manchester!  Say’s it all!

:D   Joking fella !  Eh Eh Eh !

Actually I have no problem with that.  And it only says Manchester because that’s where I was at uni.  In fact going back for graduation tomorrow.  Guess I’ll have to change my location :?

Right so we’re wankers. But you were still colonized by us wankers. And all the mispellings in the world arent going to make up for that.    8)

cheers.

[quote author=“writetovarun”]Right so we’re wankers. But you were still colonized by us wankers. And all the mispellings in the world arent going to make up for that.    8)

You wish. My ancestors came over either because of the Irish potato famine (partially caused by English economic and religious policies towards the Emerald Isle) and from immigration from Germany and the Czech Republic at the tail end of the 19th century simply to make a better life0. We weren’t appreciated in our time, but we made due. Hell, we had a Prohibition amendment to our Constitution passed against us (you can’t find people with more of a history of beer brewing than the Czechs, the Germans or the Irish). Still my ancestors perservered. Hell, my family on my great grandfather’s side helped run Chicago when they decided that their needs were not being met. I am the son of people who weren’t colonialists. My forefathers fought through xenophobia and anti-Catholicism to get to where their sons, daughters and granddaughters are today and I genuinely appreciate that.

As an Indian (or whoever the Varun you’re writing to is), I figured you of all ethnic groups wrould understand.  :(