Fine, I thought. Slam the door on your way out, I thought. See if I care.

Well I did. Care, that is. But not for long - soon I realised that only the terminally sentimental can afford to have a heart in this penguin-eat-penguin world. I needed to move on. I needed ...

... a profile with teeth!

You can be a sucker if you want. Myself, I bite. Difficult for a penguin, you’d have thought. But frankly, I don’t care what you think. And I’d get some antiseptic cream on those teeth marks soon, if I were you.

This world will just chew you up and spit you out. Be warned - I prefer to swallow.

I am only interested in getting to know people I can bite.

You may be kinky enough that being bitten by a penguin sounds like your idea of a good time. Or sufficiently deficient in basic motor skills that you won’t be able to move out of the way in time. I really couldn’t care. You’ll do. I’m not picky.

Just bitey.